the night before you are due

my serafina

that's weird to think about- you are mine. you are my daughter, and i am your momma. now and forever, we will be each others, and dad's too i suppose.

speaking of your dad, he's snoring right here next to me. he's pretty good at being able to sleep. me, not so much. i have a million you related things on my mind right now. but we'll let him sleep, might as well. he is good, you'll like him. he tries hard. that's what we want you to do- always try your hardest.

this time last year, i was a bundle of nerves too, but for different reasons- i was about to marry your dad. it was a whirlwind, i hardly remember most of that day, but i remember jumping on the bed at the hotel with him, screaming we're married! and that is what life is about little daughter- the little things, the silly things. luckily you are being born into a family who cherishes both of those.

marrying your dad is one of the highlights of my life. he is one of my favorite people on this earth. there is no one who makes me laugh like your dad, except for maybe my own dad, your nannu. but your dad is a good guy, a goofy guy. he is my guy, and he'll be yours too- you're never allowed to get married, we both decided. you'll never meet a man good enough for you (so says dad). but he has so much love for you, he has loved you before you were even a heartbeat in my belly. he only wants the world for you, and he does  and will do everything in his power to give it to you.

but then you have all your grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins back home- so many people who are all waiting to meet you. these are the people who won't see you for a long time, but it amazes me at how much they've all done for you already, how they are already planning their lives around you. you are a celebrity, truly. and spoiled.  but you are the first born granddaughter, great granddaughter on some sides, first niece. you are special.

but right now it's you and i. it's been you and i for a long time now. i dont remember not having you in my belly. i mean, i do, but this has been such a constant feeling, connection, that i know it will be surreal when you are in my arms. i have done my best to grow you to a healthy little girl, now the real growing begins. you as a person, me as a mother. i hope you know i love you, uncondtionally. i tell you all the time, who knows if you hear me, i think you do. but i love you. you are my angel, my little seraphim. the best surprise i've gotten has been you. i cannot wait to cover you in kisses and just be blown away by how perfect you are. to hold you in my arms and to take tons of pictures. you are momma's dream.

always, forever, i love you

momma.