Patience is something I've always struggled with, before marriage even. I just can't wait to save my life. My parents are patient people, and my brother's pretty laid back so I have no idea where it comes from. Maybe it's me being an American and always wanting instant gratification. I'm going to go with that.
Patience and time has been on my mind lately. The other day i realized that out of the 9 months we've had in 2012, I've spent maybe a total of 3 full ones with Dane. 6 months apart. when you've spent nearly everyday for almost 2 years together, 6 months is a particularly long time. i am so used to knowing what he's doing, where he's at, who he's with. But during this year, he's done so much without me. i don't understand a lot of what he does with the army. He'll explain it to me, but i can't really explain it and understand it. It was easier when he was working at the home- he snaked toilets, repaired screen doors, and helped little old ladies. I've tried looking online, at maps to see where these cities he tells me about are, but again- I'm not there, I can't visualize it or understand. The closest I get is with pictures. I'm so used to his only friend being Fish, but now he's met so many people that I can't get names straight.
Now, don't get me wrong: as Dane's wife, I am loving all of this. I am so excited that my husband is doing something he enjoys, exploring Europe, and making friends. A wife couldn't ask more for her husband. But, I want to be there to do these things with him.
If you ask Dane, he'll say the same. He misses being apart of everyone's daily life. He misses going to his mom's on Sundays, seeing Alex grow up, being at his dad's with Loki. He misses everyone and being apart of their lives. So many people looked to Dane- he's dependable, helpful, and a good person to have on your side. It's surreal for all of us not having him here. I had such a weird first months without him, not having him by my side Dane is not only my husband, but my superhero.
So here's where my impatience comes into play. I have had a hard time lately with the wait to get to Germany. There is a ton of paperwork involved, lots of waiting in offices, lots of signatures. I got bummed because I am so ready to be back in my husband's life. To understand what he's talking about work wise, to visit these places with him, to meet his friends. I want to be an active part of his life again.
But here's where it comes into perspective: I was at Kirstie's (my amazing mother in law, I'm so serious) today and she told me she really misses Dane. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll get there eventually, that these six months will just be that- six months, nothing in comparison to the years we'll have in Europe together. But there's people in Dane's family- like Alex for example- that won't have that luxury. Alex won't get to see Dane everyday, and vice versa. I'm so fortunate. I will be able to spend everyday with Dane, and grow with him.
So love IS patient. To be a good wife, a kind wife, and a PATIENT wife, it comes with accepting that it will happen when it happens. To not just let these last few weeks pass by, to truly cherish all the time I have with my amazing family. Because patience will make the days go by, and we will be together soon, in Germany, living for real as husband and wife!
auf wiedersehen,
mrs s.
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